Blind Dates:WWE Style!
by Potato Chippy Weezer
Summary: This fic is a parody of the show Blind Dates. The people are replaced with all of your favorite wrestlers! So far Edge, Christian, Trish, Terri, Benoit, Stephanie, Jackie, Farooq, Lita, and RVD have all been victims-er, I mean contestants. *ON HIATUS*
1. Default Chapter

A/N:  Hey there! This is my first WWE fanfiction, so it might be stupid. But I hope you like it. I would like to thank SpiritStream17 and Scattia. They gave me ideas for this fic, so go read their stories right now!

Disclaimer: All of these characters belong to Vince McMahon, not me. Don't sue!

Undertaker: Hi my name is Undertaker or you can just call me Mark

Austin: My name is Stone Cold Steve Austin, I am the WWF champion, and I do not-

Undertaker: Aw, SHUTUP!

Austin: What the hell, you can't talk to me like that! I do not deserve this! I am the WWF champion! I could whoop your ass right now!

Undertaker: ***Laughs*** Oh really? What, you want a piece of me?

Austin: No dead man, I want the whole thing!

Undertaker: Boy, you better watch yourself...

Austin: ***flips him the bird***

Undertaker: That's it... ***They start going at it, kicking each other's asses*__**

Director: Guys, guys! Stop it! This is a family show and plus, we are live!

Undertaker: You are one lucky SOB...

Austin: Yeah, right... ***They start going at it again*__**

Director: GUYS!!!!!

Undertaker: ***mutters*** sorry...

Austin: Whatever...

Undertaker: Anyways, as I was saying before I had to kick some ass...***smirks at Austin as Austin glares at him* **This is Blind Dates. This is a show where two total strangers go on a date and whether they like it or not, they have to spend the WHOLE date together

Austin: That's right, dead man. Now, normally it would just be regular people on the show, but since we kicked the old host guy's ass…

Undertaker: We have replaced those regular people with your favorite WWF superstars and unfortunately, some WCW jackasses

Austin: Ok, so you might be wondering why they picked me and dead man as the hosts...

Undertaker: Well, since we are both married men and we can kick everyone else's ass, that's why!

Austin: Well, if that's the reason, you should be my co-host because I can whoop your ass

Undertaker: What you gonna do, you son of a bitch?

Austin: Oh, you are one sorry sack of...

Director: HEY!! What did I say? This is a family show not your WWF Shakedown or your WWF well-done...***chuckles a little***

Austin: First of all, if you say it's a family show one more time, I am gonna open up a big ol' can of whoop ass on your sorry rear end! And second of all, that WWF well-done joke sucked!

Undertaker: I know, really...

Austin: Ok, so since this is our first show we will be doing...***drum roll* **A double blind date!

Undertaker: And our male contestants will be Edge and Christian

Austin: And our female contestants are Terri and Trish

Undertaker: Now keep in mind folks, these people are total strangers-

Austin: No they're not...

Undertaker: Whatever!

Austin: So sit-back, relax and all you love birds put your clothes back on and enjoy the show ***bell rings***

Undertaker: What the hell is with the bell?

Austin: This writer is so stupid!

Maybe I should Change My Name: Hey, I heard that!

Austin: Sorry...wait a minute... where did you come from?!

Maybe I should Change My Name: Uh, no time for that! ***Goes to Edge and Christian in there car talking about the date***

Edge: Dude, I hope these chicks are totally hot!

Christian: I know! They should because we are full on scorch cakes and we could get any chick that we want!

Edge: Right on! ***They do that little wiggle fingers thing where they make that weird noise***

Christian: Oh yeah! We so totally reek of awesomeness!

Edge: Ok, we are almost there so lets work on our pick-up lines

Christian: Mine is, "Is there a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants!"

Edge: And mine is, "Are those space pants your wearing because your butt is totally out of this world!"

Christian: We are so gonna score tonight!

Edge: Ok, we're here! Are you nervous?

Christian: Pshh... You have got to be kidding dude! Me? Nervous?… Yes!

Edge: Ditto! So, lets do a five second pose in the mirror for good-luck!

Christian: Rad idea! ***They both pull down the sun-visors above there heads, fix their hair in the mirrors, then do weird poses*__**

Edge: Lets go! ***They get out of the car and walk in the restaurant***

***Go to Terri and Trish waiting at the bar talking***

Trish: If these guys aren't hot, I want my money back!

Terri: Hey, I should get paid extra because I just got my implants one more size and I am sore **_*rubbing her chest*_**

Trish: Oh my god! There is Edge and Christian! They must be our dates! Quick! Straighten out your boobs! ***They both adjust while Edge and Christian walk over to them***

Edge: HELLO LADIES!

Christian: ***Can't take his eyes off Terri's...uhh...chest***

Terri: ***smiles seductively*** Hello there Christian...

Christian: ***Finally manages to pull his eyes off of her chest*** Uh…umm…**_*_shyly_* _**...hi

Trish: Hey there sexy thang

Edge: Well, I try...

Trish: Lets go sit down shall we?

Christian: We totally shall! ***Links arms with Terri and goes sit down***

Edge: Like my hair? I crimped it just for this date!

Trish: You used a crimper?

Edge: Totally

Trish: Oh my...***She stifles a laugh, but Edge links arms with her and follows Terri and Christian to sit down. They all pick a table and look at the menu*__**

Christian: Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants!

Terri: Oh! ***Giggles*__**

Edge: So, Trish...can I ask you a serious question?

Trish: Sure, of course!

Edge: Are you wearing space pants?

Trish: Uh, no...

Edge: Really, cause your butt is totally out of this world!

Trish: ***takes a minute to think. 1 minute later..*** Oh! I get it! Hahaha!

Christian: Terri, I so totally dig your shirt!

Terri: Really? Thanks!

Christian: It makes your chest look so...so...real!

Terri: Oh my gosh...seriously?

Trish: It does not!

Edge: Yeah dude. She is right. They have more plastic in them than a Barbie doll!

Christian: Whatever dude! Its not like Trish's aren't fake either! They so reek of salinetude!

Trish: Hey!

Terri: Does this shirt really make my boobs look real?

Waiter: Uh... excuse me…

Christian: Hey, they are aren't they?

Trish: Well, uh...

Christian: Well what?

Edge: Dude! Don't rush her!

Trish: They are... uh...

Waiter: Excuse me...

Terri: Huh, it does make them look kinda real, don't ya think guys?

Christian: Well, are they or not!!

Trish: ***stands up and yells*** ALRIGHT, MY BOOBS ARE FAKE OK! ENOUGH WITH THE THIRD DEGREE! ***Starts to back up but bumps into the waiter*** Uh ...hi mister waiter man **_*starts to turn bright red and sits down*_**

Waiter: I guess that means you will need more time ***walks away***

Trish: I need to use the bathroom. You coming with me Terri?

Terri: I don't know, they do look kinda real but...OH! Uh, sure...***they both get up and leave***

Edge: Thanks for blowing it dude!

Christian: Whatever! I didn't blow anything!

Edge: Blow me!

Christian: Trish will so totally blow you off

Edge: yeah sure...wait a minute...we just said blow like 4 times in 4 different ways of saying it!

Christian: Dude we are so awesome ***They do the wiggly fingers thing again. Goes to Terri and Trish walking to the bathroom*__**

Trish: They are really hot

Terri: And they're joke thingies are so cute *They bump into two tall, dark, and handsome guys*

Guy1: Sorry

Trish: Oh, you're fine.... I mean it's fine ***embarrassed***

Guy2: Can we make it up to you by taking you to our place now?

Terri: No, we are already on- ***Trish nudges her*** we're free!

Guy1: Great

Trish: Can you excuse us for a moment ***pulls Terri in the bathroom*__**

Terri: Oh… my… god!

Trish: I know! They are so hot!

Terri: Way hotter than Edge and Christian!

Trish: Speaking of them, we can't just ditch them

Terri: Yeah we can

Trish: Well, we are in this fanfic, so we can't make it seem like we are mean. So we won't

Terri: Oh yeah, so how do we get rid of them?

Trish: Um... I got it! Lets pretend we are insulted by their boob compliments and leave them

Terri: But I like their boob compliments

Trish: That's why I said pretend! Lets go! ***They go back out to guy1and guy2***

Trish: We will be right back, we have to get our coats ***Go back to Edge and Christian***

Edge: What took you guys so long? Oh! Did you have their complimentary dish of beans at the entrance? Yup, that'll do that to ya...

Trish: I cannot believe you just said that!

Edge: Huh?

Trish: You actually think that a classy woman like me would go to the bathroom in a public restroom! Grr... ***Tries to sound mad***

Christian: Hey Terri, you're boobs look even nicer after that trip to the bathroom ***grins ear to ear***

Terri: Thanks, that's really sw- ***Trish nudges her… hard*** OUCH! I mean...How dare you say that about my boobs!

Christian: But I was complimenting them!

Terri: Yeah well, you shouldn't be lookin ya scum! ***Picks up a glass of water and dumps it on his head***

Edge: HAHAHA.... you just got dissed by your date! ***With that, Trish picks up a basket of nachos and dumps it on Edge's head***

Trish: See ya! ***They both walk up to the guys and walk out of the restaurant hand in hand with them***

Edge: Dude, that was totally haneus!

Christian: I know! We were so about to score! And next to that, I got water up my nose!

Edge: And I got chips in my beautiful hair! ***Still picking them out*__**

Christian: That's the last time we go on blind dates! We so would've scored if we could've seen and it wasn't blind!

Edge: I know! This reeks of crapiness!

Christian: Look at that chick man! She so reeks of hotness! ***They both walk up to her***

Edge: How you doin'? ***Grinning weirdly***

Girl: Uh...***looks kind of scared and is about to walk away***

Christian: Hey, uh, don't leave! We're friends with Stacker2!

Edge: Yeah, maybe one day we could triple date with your friends!

Christian: Chicks go wack for the stack! ***Goes back to Undertaker and Austin shaking their heads***

Undertaker: Didn't go so well for Edge and Christian...

Austin: Damn pansies...

Undertaker: Say, where are Sara and Debra? ***Sara and Debra come in laughing with two hunky men. They stop laughing when they noticed the guys looking at them***

Debra: ***whispering to Sara*** Uh...get them out of here

Sara: ***pushing the guys out the door while making a phone with her thumb and pinky mouthing 'call me'***

Austin: Who were they?

Debra: Uhh…nobody

Sara: Yeah, we were just telling them where the bathrooms in this place were

Undertaker: Sara...

Austin: Debra...

Debra and Sara: Alright! ***They hand over pieces of paper with the hunky guys' numbers on it***

Debra: Why do you need they're numbers?

Austin: So we can call them and tell them to come over so we can kick they're asses all the way to hell! ***They all laugh***

Debra: I love you...

Sara: I love you...

Austin and Undertaker: Ohh... ***Both blushing***

~+End+~

Hope you guys like it! Please review! The next chapter will be out soon...it will probably be Benoit but I could change it...so tune in next time


	2. Blind Dates Chap2.

Blind Dates: WWF Style

Blind Dates: WWF Style! 

Author's Note: Well, here it is. The long awaited second chapter. Actually,

it wasn't really long awaited but oh well. I just felt like saying that

LoL. Anyways, in this chapter I used SpiritStream17's idea of using Benoit

because Jericho pushed him into it. So a big thanks to her. Alright now on

with the storie! This damned thing! I forget it everytime! I don't own any

of these people and BLAH. Ok, NOW on with the storie 

Undertaker: Hi, its me, Undertaker and we are back with another episode of

Blind Dates WWF Style! 

Austin: Yup, and if you recall, it didn't go so well for the pansies Edge

and Christian 

Undertaker: So maybe our next contestants will do better 

Austin: Our male contestant is Chris Benoit 

Undertaker: And our female contestant is Stephanie McMahon Helmsley...Wait

a minute! Why is she here? She is with Extremely Crappy Wrestling! 

Austin: I know! She probably slept with the director or something to get on

the show 

Undertaker: Probably 

Austin: She is a filthy trash bag 2 cent ho 

Undertaker: Naw man, you're wrong 

Austin: WHAT?! 

Undertaker: Make that 1 cent 

Austin: Jesus man! You scared me! 

Undertaker: She probably already slept with half the guys in the WWF 

Director: Guys! We are running out of time! 

Austin: Alrighty then, lets sit back, relax and enjoy the show! *bell

rings* Damn bell.. 

*Shane McMahon walk in wearing a WCW/ECW shirt on* 

Shane: Hey hey hey! Hold the phone! I just wanted to let all the viewers

out there know that you should enjoy this episode because it will be the

last because this Sunday, WCW and ECW are going to whoop WWF's ass! And

just to let you guys know, my sis is NO LONGER a 2 cent ho! The price has

been raised to 5 cents so there! 

Austin: Ya know, I think I have figured out a way to make this bell useful

*wacks Shane in the head with the bell* 

Undertaker: NOW, lets get on with the show 

*Cut to Jericho and Benoit outside the Friendly Tap talking*

Benoit: I am not doing this!

Jericho: Come on buddy! It'll be fine

Benoit: I can't go through this, I mean what if she is like mean or ugly or something!

Jericho: If she turns out like that, just call me and I will come and get you

Benoit: Alright, well I better go in now before I change my mind

Jericho: Good luck junior!

*Benoit walks in and looks around for someone he knows. He can't find anyone so he is about to leave until Stephanie walks right up to him*

Steph: Why hello Christopher!

Benoit: Oh no! Don't tell me!

Steph: Yes, I am your date and just to let you know, you are paying

Benoit: Yeah, yeah. *They sit down at the bar* So Stephanie, can I ask you something personal?

Steph: Oh! Of course! You are much more of a gentleman than I expected! Ask away!

Benoit: Yeah, how many men have you slept with?

Steph: Why do people always ask me that?! *starts to cry* Sure I have slept with many men but don't you think people would at least respect my privacy?

Benoit: Oh geeze. I didn't mean to make you cry. C-c'mere *Hugs Stephanie*

Steph: And after I sleep w-with a guy, he never calls again like he just wanted me for sex *cries some more*

Benoit: Its okay. Shh....want to play pool

Steph: O-okay *They get up and start playing pool*

Benoit: So what about Hunter?

Steph: Well I got his mom to take care of his knee so I don't have to watch over the big baby

Benoit: Baby?

Steph: Yeah, every time I put the creme on his so it will he heal faster, he cries for at least 10 minutes

Benoit: Oh, I see

Steph: Um, Chris? Would you ever consider going out with a girl like me?

Benoit: To tell you the truth...No, not really

Steph: Well, would you ever consider sleeping with a girl like me?

Benoit: HELL YEAH!

Steph: Okay! Let's go do it! *She drags him into the bathroom*

*1 hour later Jericho is waiting for Benoit outside the Friendly Tap. Benoit walks out with his shirt unbuttoned and hair ruffled*

Jericho: Holy Jesus! Did you have sex?!

Benoit: Did I ever! I think my new name should Tiger!

Jericho: It went that well?

Benoit: Either I am really good at sex or agrees with me a lot! *Grins*

Jericho: Yeah, ok I didn't need to know that. So who was it?

Benoit: Are you ready for this?

Jericho: This should be good...

Benoit: Stephanie McMahon!

Jericho: OH MY GOD-*he faints*

Benoit: Buddy? Are you ok? *Goes to Austin and Undertaker making weird faces*

Austin: Ew! That was so gross!

Undertaker: I know, and who would have thought that someone like Chris Benoit would have done that!

Austin: She must have brainwashed him or something

Undertaker: Poor Benoit. He's not gonna hear the end of this from Jericho *Debra and Sara walk in wearing bikinis*

Debra and Sara: Hey boys! *Austin and Undertaker's eyes pop out of their heads*

Debra: We just got back from swimming

Sara: If you didn't have this job than you could've came with us

Austin: DAMN THIS CRAPPY JOB!

Undertaker: I know, we don't even get paid that good

Debra: Well, we were thinking of taking another dip-

Austin and Undertaker: SORRY FOLKS GOT TO GO! *They leave with Sara and Debra*

Ok, sorry that was crappy guys. I couldn't thinkl of anything else. Hopefully the next chapter will be better *MUAH*


	3. Blind Dates Chap3

Blind Dates: WWF Style

Blind Dates: WWF Style!

A/N: Hey guys! I'm back with another chapter. Hope ya like-DAMN IT!! The last couple of chapters of my other stories but NOO…not this one! I don't own these character and BLAH! You know the deal. So now, on with the story!

Undertaker: Hey everybody! Its me Taker and-WHAT THE HELL! Where is that son of a bitch Austin?

Director: Uh, he just called in and said that the Alliance was more important than the show so he is taking a leave of absence

Taker: Oh well. At least I get the show all to myself now. So as I was saying-

Director: Actually, studies show that viewers prefer 2 hosts so we found a replacement host

Taker: And who the hell would that be? It better be Sara or Kane!

Director: Uh, close. Actually its…

Booker T: CAN YOU DIG THIS SUCKA!!!

Taker: Oh dear god in heaven…

Booker: FINALLY! The Book had come back, to Blind Dates

Taker: I hate to take a phrase from The Rock, but WHO in the blue hell hired him?

Director: Well, we weren't going to hire him until he dazzled us with the Spinorooni

Taker: The Spinorooni? He dazzled you with the Spinorooni? Please…

Booker: The Book says, who in the blue hell is this jabroni?

Taker: The hell?! You're calling me a jabroni? Please some one take me outta this hell hold!

Booker: I think you're just jealous of The Book, SUCKA!

Taker: Of what?

Booker: Of this! ***Does the spinorooni* **I'd like to see you do THAT sucka!

Taker: Oh, who taught you that? Yo momma?

Booker: You didn't just say that? TELL ME, he didn't just say that

Shane: ***magically appears*** Oh he said it! ***magically disappears***

** **

Booker: That's it! The 5 time WCW champion-

Taker: Oh, that's something to be proud of

Booker: As I was saying, the 5 time WCW champion is gonna kick you're roody poo candy ass!

Taker: I'd like to see you try boay!

Booker: Just cause I don't have championship doesn't mean I don't have gold ***hits his gold tooth*** DING!

Taker: You're pathetic. Now, on with the show. Our female contestant is Jackie. Our male contestant is Farooq

Booker: Two WWF SUCKAS!!

Taker: God, I never thought I would do this but…PLEASE AUSTIN! I AM BEGGING YOU! COME BACK!

Booker: Since this is gonna be boring I will tell you how I started my wrestling career. It started out when my momma gave…

Taker: ***Put his head in his hands*** Why me God! Why me!

***CUT TO FAROOQ STANDING IN THE PARKING LOT WITH BRADSHAW***

Bradshaw: Dude, finally at least one of us will have a babe

Farooq: I know man. If she's hot, I might even pay for the beer

Bradshaw: Only if she EXTRA hot, remember. We don't wanna be wasting our beer money on some ugly chick

Farooq: Yeah, no one's coming for protection any more

Bradshaw: YOU might need it tonight though brotha! ***they both laugh***

Farooq: I gotta go in now man, if it goes bad, I'll see you tonight. If it goes good, I'll see you tomorrow morning

Bradshaw: Alright man. Just remember, if you have any left over beer, bring it with ya 

Farooq: ***Nods, then walks into the bar*** Now, where the hell is this chick?

Jackie: ***Sitting on bar stool counting money*** You owe me five more bucks man. I think you should just give up chugging contests

Man: ***drunkingly*** Can I-hic- pay you-hic- tomorrow ***Faints***

Jackie: I guess you'll have to! Farooq! Aw, you must be my man for tonight

Farooq: Or maybe all night

Jackie: If you're that good. Up for a game of poker?

Farooq: Hell yeah! ***Takes cards out of pocket and deals them out*** I'll bet a beer. I got 2 pair

Jackie: Ha! Three pair! Uh, bartender, he'd like to buy me a beer

Farooq: Lucky hand! I'll get you this time, for 3 beers! ***Deals cards*** Ha! This time I got three pair! Beat that!

Jackie: Sorry Husky, I got a straight! That'll be another 3 beers he'd like to buy me bartender!

Farooq: Alright this time lets raise the stakes. Something more important then beer.

Jackie: Whats more important than beer?

Farroq: Sex!

Jackie: But we both want sex, so whats the point

Farooq: Damn! Never thought of that! I always love sex as long as its not at my place

Jackie: Oh! I got it! If I win, we do it at you're place. If you win, we do it at my place

Farooq: Deal! ***Deals out cards*** Ha! You are so beat!

Jackie: Yeah sure! I got one of the best hands

Jackie and Farooq: FULL HOUSE!

Farooq: Now what do we do?

Jackie: We do it here

Farooq: But there's people here

Jackie: I got an idea. HEY EVERYBODY! FREE BEER ACROSS THE STREET!

Farooq: ***Starts heading to the door***

Jackie: ***Pulls him back and kisses him***

***CUT TO NEXT MORNING***

Bradshaw: Dude, I can't believe you nailed Jackie!

Farooq: I know!

Bradshaw: So did you bring any left over beer?

Farooq: No, but Jackie said there was free beer across the street from the bar!

***CUT TO A VERY ANNOYED UNDERTAKER AND A RAMBILING BOOKER T***

Booker: But I knew that I couldn't give up so I decided that I would face Goldberg one on one for the WCW champ-

Taker: THAT'S IT! ***gives Booker the last ride*** Man, I should have done that hours ago ***Debra and Sara walk in***

Sara: Hey baby ***kisses Taker on the cheek***

Taker: Hey Baby. Hey Debra

Debra: Where is Steve?

Taker: He quit

Debra: HE WHAT!?

Taker: yeah, he thinks now that he is in the Alliance, he is too good for the show

Debra: Oh, he will be back

Taker: THANKYOU GOD!

Alright, so there's chapter three? How did you like it? Review this piece of crap and tell me!


	4. Blind Dates Chap4.

Blind Dates: WWF Style!

A/N: Hey all you dudes and dudettes! Sorry about the not updating thing. I was kind of bummed that no one liked my 'Untitled' fic. But I read all your nice reviews like about ten times over and over. Man, talk about an ego booster! Heh… anywho,  here is the fourth chapter. I hope you guys like it! …Ashlie

Disclaimer: Same old, same old. I don't own these people so don't sue. All I have is this piece of crap computer and a couple of bucks I stole from my mom.

Undertaker: Hello. It's me again, The Undertaker. Even after ten years in this business, I still don't get the respect that I deserve! And people call me a mad man! A sadistic psycho because I beat up Ric Flair's kid! He made me do it! I swear, if that's what I have to do to get my match with him, so be it. And if- ***glass shatters and Stone Cold's music plays*** What the? AUSTIN! STOP DISRESPECTING ME!

Austin: Respect you?

Taker: Yes I want you to respect me!

Austin: You want me to what?

Taker: I want you to respect me!

Austin: You what?

Taker: I said I want you to respect me!

Austin: What?

Taker: I SAID I WANT YOU TO-

Austin: WHAT?!

Taker: Fine then. Two can play this game!

Austin: WHAT?!

Taker: WHAT?!

Austin: WHAT?!

Taker: WHAT?!

Austin: WHAT?!

Taker: WHAT?!

Austin: WHAT?!

Taker: WHA- God damn it! You won again! ***All of a sudden….FLASH!!!!***

Austin: Ha ha! I won! You lost! Nanny nanny boo boo!

Taker: Mommy! Make him stop! He keeps making fun of me!

Austin: I am not! You are a liar! Liar liar, pants on fire!

Taker: Waaaahhhhh!

Austin: You are such a baby!

Director: Uh… guys?

Austin: You in the heck are you?

Taker: Yeah ***sniff***, who are you?

Director: Oh my god! You two have turned into five year olds!

Austin: Your point?

Director: What am I going to do! I have a fic to run! What am I going to do with two five year old yayhoos?

Taker: Did you just call me a yayhoo?!

Director: Well, yeah…

Taker: I know you are but what am I?

Director: How dare you! You little rascal!

Taker: I know you are but what am I?

Director: Butthole!

Taker: I know you are but what am I?

Director: Dork!

Taker: I know you are but what am I?

Director: Geek!

Taker: Taker: I know you are but what am I?

Director: Ha! I know…the smartest, coolest guy on the block!

Taker: I know I am, but what are you?

Austin: Good one! ***Taker and Austin high five*** 

Director: Aw…shit!

Taker: Oh my goodness gracious!

Austin: You said the 'S' word! I am telling!

Director: Oh no your not!

Taker: Then I am!

Director: Yeah sure! Like anyone would believe you ***snickers***

Austin: You butt sniffer! ***Kicks the director***

Director: Why you little! ***Starts to chase Austin and Taker***

Nikechik: Uh…sorry about that folks. As a replacement host, I have chosen Jim Ross for the moment. Go on Jim! Strut your stuff! ***Pushes Jim Ross into the studio***

JR: What the? Where am I?

Nikechik: Quit blabbering on Ross! Just read the cue cards!

JR: Oh, ok. The male contestant on today's chapter will be Rob Van Dam and the female contestant will be Lita! From where I sit, this is set out to be a real slobber knocker. Quite frankly, this blind date should be restaurant quality. With that RVD being goofier than a pet coon and Lita being quite the jezebel lately, anything could happen!

Nikechik: What the? That's not on the cue cards! You are messing up this fic by using all your stupid phrases! Why I oughta…

JR: Well folks, why I go run like a scalded dog…enjoy the show ***Runs out of the studio with Nikechik chasing after him*** 

***Cut to Lita waiting outside the Ceaser's (sp?) Palace***

RVD: ***Walking up to Lita*** Hey Lita! You must be my date. Cool!

Lita: Hey Rob! Could you do me a favor and not tell Matt? We broke up but I think he still is protective of me

RVD: Ok, cool.

Lita: Thanks! Anyways, I thought it would be fun if we went swimming

RVD: Cool! That sounds cool! But everything's cool when you are ***does the thumbs thing*** R-V-D!

Lita: Okkk…uh, cool! ***They walk off holding hands***

***Cut to Matt and Jeff in army clothes hiding behind the bushes***

Matt: Oh my god! She was totally flirting with him! And he was totally hitting on her! Didn't you see it Jeff? Jeff? JEFF!

Jeff: AHH! Oh, what?

Matt: Are you listening to me?

Jeff: Yeah, sure. Hey! Did you see these binoculars? They are so awesome! You can see things that are like fifteen feet away!

Matt: ***slaps his forehead*** Come on! Let's go follow them! ***They both get up and start walking in the direction RVD and Lita went***

***Cut to RVD and Lita in the pool***

Lita: ***Laughing*** Rob! Quit splashing! Rob? Rob! Where are you? Ok! You got me…where are you? Please stop Rob. I am getting really scared! Rob!

Rob: ***Jumping up from behind her*** BWAH!!!!!!!!

Lita: ***Screams*** Oh my god! Rob! Your okay! I was scared to death! ***Hugs him***

Rob: You were really worried about me?

Lita: Well, yeah. I care about you a lot Rob. You are such a…a…a cool guy. And you are really cool guy to hang out with. And I- ***stops talking as their lips get closer and closer together***

Matt: Oh my god! They are going to kiss! ***Gets up from the lounge chair that he and Jeff were hiding behind*** That's it! I can't take it anymore!  NOOOOOOOOO! ***In slow motion, he jumps into the pool just before RVD and Lita kiss***

Lita: Matt?! What in the hell are you doing here?

Matt: Lita! I can't stand this anymore! I have liked you ever since we met. You are the prettiest, toughest, nicest girl I have ever met in my life. And I think I am in love with you. I would get down on my knee if we weren't in a pool and I'd give you a ring if I had one, but…will you marry me?

Lita: ***Shocked*** Holy crap! Yes! Yes! I will marry you! ***They kiss***

RVD: Aw…how cool. I mean sweet!

Lita: Oh Rob! I am so sorry! Hey, you can be the best man at our wedding!

Matt: But Jeff is going to be my best man

Lita: Ok, than Rob, you can be my brides maid!

RVD: Cool!

Jeff: Are we done spying Matt? Rocket Power is on as we speak! And I am missing it!

***Cut to Nikechik and JR talking to a doctor***

Nikechik: So how long will they be like this doc?

Doctor: Well, I don't exactly know what's wrong with them. For all we know, they might have to live their whole life all over again

Taker: ***Fighting with Austin*** Give me it you bully! It's my HE-MAN action figure!

Austin: Finder's keeper's! Losers weepers!

Taker: Mommy!

JR: Good God almighty! There is going to be hell to pay for the government mule that did this!

What will happen to Austin and Taker? Will they be five year old's forever? Find out on the next chapter of…Blind Dates: WWF Style! It was kind of long, but I hope you liked it. Review this piece of crap and tell me!


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